AnAK

When u all see the title above..
i think u all can guess the things that i would like to share today..

well,me and my hubby have been married for alomost 2 years
but till now we don't have any child yet..
peoples around us keep asking ...

'dah ada baby ka?dh brp anak ada?and so on so on..

when we told them(my hubby always give the answer to them)..

'belum lagi..belum ada rezeki lagi..'

then their answer will be like this..

'merancang ke?buat apa merancang?ingat dah ada 2,3 anak dh..'

and we?just smiled..

sometimes i feel tired answering this kind of question..

when I'm not married,people asked me

'bila nk kawen'

and when I've married..
they keep asking me..

'bila nak ada baby?dah berapa orang anak?

sometimes i just want to scream and tell them..

'NO..WE DON'T HAVE BB YET..WE ARE STILL TRYING..BELUM REZEKI KAMI..FURTHERMORE PERSOALAN BABY IS VERY SUBJECTIVE..I DON'T HAVE THE ANSWER..'

we already done our level best..

we've seen gynae, we've done traditional way(seing bidan,urut), we've taken a buah zuriat from Mekah..we've taken everything that can help us to get a baby..

we've done solat Hajat(always), asking from God to give us a baby..

when I see and hear my friends get pregnant,especially my friends that get married after me..
I wish I had that kind of experience too..
to get pregnant and have our own baby..

sometimes people don't understand..
they keep asking,

'dah ada bb?..'

plz don't asked that question anymore..
i'm really tired to answer the question..
sometimes,I feel like i'm going to put a small banner at my body and write..

'I don't have baby yet..so,plz don't asked anything..'

especially when going back to my hometown..
or at kenduri that we attend..

I already told myself,when I get pregnant,I will let everyone knows..that will be my promise..

I feel happy to hear people around me get pregnant..
but deeply in my heart..I'm so down..so sad..
people don't know that sometimes I cry when thinking of that things..
even my hubby don't know..
sometimes I wake up at night and cry when thinking about that..
I really want a baby but I don't want to force or stress myself for that..
just let it be naturally..

I'm very thankful to my hubby,my family for being so understanding and supportive
they always asked me to be positive..
and don't bother other people words.

We always pray that God will give us a chance to have our own baby...
to have the experience being a mother and father..
We never put the end to try and try as much as we can and done everything for that..
Insyaallah,we really believe we will get our own baby soon..